So, is the following from Saturday Night Live such a satirical example of a Reductio ad Absurdum that it skewers mainstream media narratives about Sen. Hillary Clinton and her supporters... or is it to be read straightforwardly as the "logical" conclusion of a campaign marked by the issues highlighted, and all too willing to push in such a direction?
Be forewarned, the funny parts still come at a cost:
My apologies that this embed has advertising at the end.
I've listed this under "Humor" albeit of a dark nature. My apologies if it offends your sensibilities. Today's local paper here has an obituary for a faculty member I knew. I don't normally read the obituaries page, but since I knew the person I thought I'd check that obit. In doing just that I came across an obituary for a 67 year old man, who, and as Dave Barry would say, "I'm not making this up," "worked for various area farmers before purchasing the family farm..."
Reminded me of the Monty Python dead parrot sketch. Bought the farm, kicked the bucket, six feet under, went to meet his maker... etc. I've advised my wife not to write an obit that says essentially that I "bought the farm."
I've always been darn bad at Math. Starting in 8th grade I think. High School Math was awful. I took Geometry because the teacher was cute. Such was my thinking about Math. College Math was no better. If you are a believer in multiple intelligences you'll recognize that we can have great aptitude for some things and not for others. My aptitude is certainly not with Math, although I've learned more Math after school than I did all throughout it. They were just teaching Math as if skill, aptitude, context, etc. did not matter. It was dry, and too fast.
On the other hand, I was a wiz with words. I could look at a table with words and make sense of it quickly. I loved history, literature, poetry, argument, politics... you name it, the humanities and I got along very well. I could make sense of strings of words, read voraciously, could articulate my thoughts in writing well early on, and could manipulate language, derive interpretation from literary texts, etc. To this day, when I look at a chart full of numbers I have to truly focus on understanding the relationships. When I look at words on a chart or table, or some such diagram, it is as if the words speak to me. Indeed, many years ago I became a member of Mensa by passing the Millers Analogies Test with a score that surpassed the needed percentile for admission. Hey! words? analogies? I'm there baby. Then again, I let that membership lapse and have never rejoined. Perhaps now they weed out bums like me!
The following quote by Stephen Wright (at least attributed to him) encapsulates well how I think about Math:
"When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety."
Of course, my experience in life now has been that the older I get the less I know, even though I get smarter at not knowing some things. A sure sign of intelligence I think.
A cute parody of current affairs posted on YouTube. Check out the iRack... and the other new product unveiled at the end.
There was an old guy Pinochet
Who thought Human Rights were passé
He ruled out Habeas Corpus
Disappeared the obnoxious
Says Bush to Alberto now, Olé!
Promptly Alberto proclaimed
To hell with the Founder's intent
You can't take away
What you never had, nay!
The Constitution I'd rather forget.
Sez Bush to a nation in debt
More troops is the answer you bet
To the tune of some billions
We'll make like the legions
And die while he's comfy in bed.
With apologies to Bobby "joke-man" Malone from Wichita, KS, but this is so far the first big joke of the new year: Bush Pledges to Balance Federal Budget by 2012, and... Calls on Congress to Curb Spending. All this time people thought he didn't have a sense of humor! Perhaps with all the nice things people have been saying about President Ford... Dubya figures he has to start worrying about a legacy... that is, beyond war and mayhem. Always good to start the year with a joke.
Do check this out, Dave Barry's desperation gifts guide:
Holiday, gift-giving is a tradition, that dates back roughly 2.006 years, to when theBarry and others over at t he Gift Guide Strategic Holiday Command Center have been checking out some rather cool gifts for the season. Check out the Cruzin Cooler (a motorized cooler), really it is amazing. Perhaps the best item is the custom-printed toilet paper (seen here with a picture of Paris Hilton, but I can think of a few other people I would not mind to have displayed in such an item.Three Wise Men went to Bethlehem with gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh for the Baby Jesus. Of course, the next day the Virgin Mary returned these items for store credit, because she was a low-income mother with a newborn, and, as the old saying goes, "You can't diaper a baby with a frankincense."
Ah ah, remember that you might get a visit from the Secret Service if you grace your toilet paper with the picture of some of our esteemed government leaders... well, maybe just one of them. Still, this is such a great "Zen" item. I can imagine old Zen master Lin-Chi saying "So, that's what you think the dharma is eh? Well, poop on you!"
Leibniz dieted and exercised but never did get rid of his monads—at least, not the ones that adhered to his thighs. Spinoza, on the other hand, dined sparingly because he believed that God existed in everything and it’s intimidating to wolf down a knish if you think you’re ladling mustard onto the First Cause of All Things.And I can’t resist inserting this excerpt here for Justin from American Buddhist Perspective:
No less misguided was Kant, who proposed that we order lunch in such a manner that if everybody ordered the same thing the world would function in a moral way. The problem Kant didn’t foresee is that if everyone orders the same dish there will be squabbling in the kitchen over who gets the last branzino. “Order like you are ordering for every human being on earth,” Kant advises, but what if the man next to you doesn’t eat guacamole? In the end, of course, there are no moral foods—unless we count soft-boiled eggs.Justin, no doubt you have read Kant’s “Tractatus on Starches?”
I like puns, part of my focus on language and stuff like that. In any case, there are really bad, groany kind of puns, but I find them all intriguing. Here is one I found recently. For your brief amusement:
The lawyer decided to take up sailing, so he went to buy a boat. "How do you dock this thing?" he asked when he'd settled on a model. "You don't" the salesman said. "To protect the finish from dings, just tie it to a float near the doc." "How do you get out to the boat?" "You can paddle out on a small raft, or just walk to it if you don't mind getting wet." "Oh, I get it," the young lawyer replied. "It's Row v. Wade."
...groan : )
Have you been wanting to find out just what the heck the whole argument about Net Neutrality is all about? Well, search no more. Click here for a clear, to the point, summary. Then again, the link site might be putting it in a nice way...
Apparently forgetting that there are plenty of us Nacho's out there, a radio station in Arizona held a Cinco de Mayo contest to become a "Human Nacho." Too funny, part of the contest consisted in sloshing around in a tub of cheese... Click on the link, they have a picture of a young woman rolling around in cheese.
Inspired by the MoJo report on spotting a terrorist, I've decided to start crafting a list of characteristics for potential terrorists. So let us create our very own Blogosphere's Guide to Spotting a Terrorist. Let me know what characteristics you think we should be on the lookout for. To start us off I suggest the following:
For a quite funny and inspired take on Jesus and Instant Messaging visit One Egg Shy and read this post "If Jesus had IM." Jesus's IM handle? JCDaMessiah. Mary Magdalene's? MaryMags69. Peter's? SimonSays. You get the drift. Fun stuff. Check it out.
A person in a Thich Nhat Hanh list had requested information about naming a Sangha, and in a fit of folly I sent her my modification of T.S. Eliot's "The Naming of Cats" (which you can find in his Old Possum Book of Practical Cats).
About the Naming of Sanghas...
(with apologies to T.S. Eliot)
The naming of Sanghas is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your Buddhist games;
You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter
When I tell you a sangha must have three
different names.
First of all, there's the name
that the members use daily,
Such as Group, or Gathering,
Meeting or Friends--
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names
if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the lay ladies,
some for the lay gents;
Such as Zen Group, Meditation,
and Mindfulness Center--
But all of them sensible everyday names.
Totally out of the blue appreciation for Pete Seeger. Little Boxes and Old-Time Religion are probably at the top of my favorite list of his songs (neither originated with him, but he does such a good job with both). There are quite a few versions of this Old-Time Religion, with lots of added verses. In fact, check out this site for the most comprehensive collection of verses for this tune. The iTunes store has two versions by Seeger available each 99 cents (a shorter and longer versions with some different verses).
Old Time Religion
the first six stanzas as interpreted by Pete Seeger
Gimme that old time religion
Gimme that old time religion
Gimme that old time religion
It’s good enough for me
We will pray to Aphrodite
We will pray to Aphrodite
She wears that see-thru nightie
And she's good enough for me.
We will pray to Zarathrustra,
We will pray just like we used-to,
I'm a Zarathrustra booster,
And it’s good enough for me.
If you want to help stop human-animal hybrids, as President Bush noted in his State of the Union speech, 
please visit humananimalhybrid.net: Raising Awareness about Human-Animal Hybrids.
They have nice t-shirts and mugs, and what not. Check out the Manrooster beast, and the Beast Family! Well, you might not be able to stop this human-animal research by buying the shirts or stickers... if you go by internet pictures of Bush as chimp, this "Manimal" has been around for quite a bit. Human-Animal hybrids, another weapon of mass distraction you think? Good example of how political communication is oftentimes much more about fomenting confusion and uncertainty than about clarifying ideas (for those folks who think putting forth clear rationales for proposed courses of action is the goal of political talk). I can already hear Pat Robertson on this one.
A fun/nny pro-Darwin/Evolution 
effort from Colin Purrington at Swarthmore. Here's a bit from their website:
These stickers are being introduced to spread awareness and appreciation of Charles Darwin, whose theory of natural selection provided a simple, non-supernatural explanation for how life on earth had evolved and continues to evolve today. Although this stickering project is probably futile, it will hopefully delay our slip into Dark Ages II by several days. Maybe a week.The Darwin has a Posse sticker is pretty cool. I will be printing some and passing them out to attendees of our Darwin Day celebration. Check out also the evolution outreach projects page The Charles Darwin quote bookmarks are pretty nifty. The "gifts" for science teachers includes body armor. Now that I think about it... if crosses (or crucifix shapes) keeps vampires at bay, what keeps Christian ID supporters away...? In any case, stay tuned for my own efforts re strickers and such in this regard. Coming soon...
Back on the saddle again... The Onion has a wonderful spoof on this whole Intelligent Design stuff. It is all too funny, and with the kind of fundamentalism we see out there, not as farfetched as some might think.
Evangelical Scientists Refue Gravity with New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory
KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.
Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."
===============
Check out The Onion for the rest of it.
Groaners, or excellent ones. I do like puns, clever plays on words, etc. Smiling is great for mindfulness.
1. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
2. A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
3. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal shaman who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the shaman looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"
Change is good
Worth it? National Priorities Project: To see more details, click here.
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